Less of Me, More of You

Selfishness is very dangerous and spiritually damaging. It has torn me up for the longest time and in many ways stunted my growth.  When I make it all about what I can do,  my spirit knows that my flesh is not enough to accomplish God oriented things. They don't line up. It's like trying to mix together oil and water. They  separate and do not dissolve together to form one solution. It has to be water or oil, spirit or flesh. You cannot give in to both and expect great results. I can't go around saying "more of you God and less of me" when I am still trying to hold on to my flesh. It doesn't work that way. I have been giving myself to God piece by piece.  I haven't really completely given up myself, or any selfish desires and it's not working.  I believe God is no longer satisfied with pieces of me. He wants all of me. He always has. Now it's time for me to quit playing games and be willing to lay it all on the line. I am tired of making it all about me. I am  tired of the insecurities I create for myself and sabotaging myself. I am my own worst enemy. At this point, it has got to be all about God in order for me to overcome or achieve anything for him.


The reason why I haven't been successful in a lot of areas is not that God doesn't want to bless me, but because I get in the way of my own progress. I keep forgetting that all I have to do is seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and everything else will be added. All God wants is for me to chase hard after him everyday. He can be everything I need if I can just learn to lay aside selfishness and follow him whole-heartedly. Someone once told me, "God is not looking for a perfect people, but  pure hearts". How far am I willing to go to follow God? I love God so much. I just want to do whatever pleases him. When I get to heaven, I want to hear well done good and faithful servant. If that means losing my whole self to the purpose of God, then so be it.  I want to be willing to lay down my own dreams and desires so that there is nothing in the way. So that he can use me to my fullest potential. The Bible says that "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I am done with selfishness.  If laying down all that I am, all that I possess, and all that I desire will bring me closer to the heart of God, then that's what I want. I have to be willing to accept that it might mean never having children. That's a hard pill to swallow for me. Children would be great, but if that's what keeps getting in the way then I will choose to be content without one. I would rather have my relationship with God. I said that 7 years ago when I was about to miscarry and I still mean it today. God is everything to me.


Is there anything getting in the way between you and God? It can't be all about us, or all about church, or even all about saving people. It has to be all about God, and if we aren't progressing in our relationship with him the way we should or could be, then maybe we need to ask God to reveal the block we have put in our path. Mine is selfishness.  My prayer today is for there to be so much of God in me, that it leaves no room left for me...at whatever cost is required. Lord Jesus, take all of me. Less of me, more of you!


Love
Amanda B.